Snoutbreak 09 : The Hamdemic Shuts Down Alabama Sports

30 Apr 2009


So I’ve already been slapped across the wrist a couple of times for joking about the “Swine Flu“, but I’m just a proponent for calling it something a little more tasteful. “Bacon Lung” for instance does not cause as much fear and it offends no one . . . Manbirdpig emphasizes the flu viruses three common carriers and characteristics (and also pokes fun of Manbearpig and Al Gore from South Park for you non-followers) . . . it’s half human, half bird, and half pig flu. We need something that everyone can agree on since “Swine” and “Mexican” flu obviously isn’t doing the job.

Anyways, ESPN is reporting that several likely cases of the Bacon Lung virus have been discovered in the state of Alabama. Like any overprotective mother out to seek attention from the national media they have sensibly shut down all sporting events until further notice. 

“Right now, we are being advised by our Medical Advisory Committee to shut down all activities until further notice,” said Steve Savarese, executive director of the Alabama High School Athletic Association. “We hope to be able to resume activities by next Tuesday, but right now we must study the situation and take it one day at a time.”

On the bright side a pound of ham is currently only $3.99 at the Harris Teeter. We can’t let the pigs win, we’ve got to bring the fight to them. If we don’t eat every single last pig . . . those terrorists have won.