In the world of running, athletes performance enhancing substances have long been a problem. But in Zimbabwe’s international women’s running circuit, Samukeliso Sithole is accused of having the worst performance enhancing substance: a penis. It turns out Sithole masqueraded around the country, winning dozens of women’s events and pursing millions of dollars. Charges were filed against the Lancashire Steel Athletics Club runner after he unwittingly stripped nude in front of a female colleague. When confronted by authorities, Sithole relied on his feet for escape only to be captured moments later.
After an official examination by a Zimbabwean doctor, it was officially revealed that Sithole was indeed a male. However, he had a completely logical explanation for the growth over this mangina:
Prosecutor Mr Nkonde said the court had found it difficult in deciding whether to remand Sithole in custody in male or female cells as he was adamant that he was a woman yet the doctor’s report had revealed he was a man.
In his defence, Sithole told the court that he was born with both female and male organs. The athlete added that his parents then consulted a Chipinge traditional healer who gave them some herbs following which he assumed female status.
However, Sithole further alleges that they only paid half the money charged for the services rendered by the healer. As a punishment by the traditional healer for them to pay up the outstanding bill, the male organ only developed recently, he said.
He told the court that he was scheduled to settle the bill with the traditional on his trial day and this would have resulted in him reverting to the female gender.
The top Zimbabwean athlete told the court that he had a boyfriend.
Sithole also made history last year by winning five gold medals and a bronzer in shot-put, high jump, 400 hurdles, and in the long jump as a woman. I know there are some feminists out there that will argue against this logic, but competing as a male in the world of track and field is truly an overwhelming advantage on the competitive level. It makes you wonder what penises lay hidden in the United States running circuit.
Source: Zimbabwe News
This tidbit from the magazine
Thursday afternoon was supposed to be the highlight of the year for more than 100 Virginia kindergartners. For months, these kids sweated their tiny little germ filled asses off to bake and sell enough cookies to reach the $20 fee for their one and only White House tour with President Obama. But when the time came, they left Washington DC with nothing but tears and a newfound right winged political agenda. The reason they weren’t allowed in? So the Obama could meet and greet the 2009 Super Bowl champion Steelers.