Archive for August, 2009

Rubio to T-Wolves: Suck It

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Rubio has said that he plans on coming to the NBA this year but it turns out those damn Europeans screwed us again. A high level source stated that Rubio will have to wait until 2011 for their first round pick to sport the new T-Wolves jersey. This confirms the draft day suspicion that he would not sign with a team that he did not want to play for, which is why he fell down to number 5.

Euros are slowly going to ruin the NBA. The NBA needs to be built around athletic players that can dunk and shoot threes, not some euro trash that sits on the outside and jacks up threes, Peja.  European soccer has quotas for how many foreigners they can have on a team so why cant we?

A Waitor Who Thinks He Is Far More Clever Than He Is

Friday, August 28th, 2009

Q: I work as a waiter. At work today, a table of a friend of mine ordered an Arnold Palmer (iced tea and lemonade, for those readers who don’t know) with a double shot of vodka. Having never heard of this before, three of us on the wait staff deliberated and decided that this drink should forever be known as a John Daly. Any objections? — Colin, Oshkosh, Wis.

SG: None. I love it. That’s the best sports-related drink idea since the LeBomb James (pouring 3 packs of Splenda on your hands, dropping a shot of Crown Royal into a glass of Red Bull, chugging it down, then throwing the Splenda up in the air like baby powder). The bigger question …

This waiter needs to step up his drink knowledge because the John Daly has been around for a long time. Anybody who is anybody in the drinking community knows and enjoys John Dalies on a regular occasion. Next time step up the creativity if you want any credit.

Another Sports Icon Has a Run In With The Cops

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

shaqEarly on Thursday Morning outside a California Night Club, Shaq joined the list of sport figures to get bugged by the cops. His Ford F-350 was ticketed for impeding the reasonable movement of traffic. He should be disgraced by his actions and should be suspended for at least 20 games. The way these celebrities act is despicable.

Everyone Should Get a Subscription!

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Finally the sports world has something to cheer about. The Latest Sports Illustrated will not feature anything about the soap opera star Brett Favre. SI made a daring decision that seems to slap ESPN right in the face, and everyone enjoys it. ESPN has spent the last four months pandering to the controversies in the world of sports instead of reporting about sports. They have lost a lot of credibility in my mind due to their bias towards controversy instead of sports.

ESPN made a name for themselves as a portal for all the worlds sports, and now it has resorted to a gossip theme to keep the viewers happy.

Unacceptable we want the old ESPN back.

Also no anchors are funny anymore besides Scott Van Pelt

Bolting for the NFL?

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

Usain Bolt is without a doubt the fastest man on earth. He established that by shattering the 100m and 200m world records in impressive victories over the next 9 fastest people in the world. This type of speed is incredibly intriguing to the NFL because it could translate into a new deep threat or kick returner.

Larry Rawson of ESPN predicts that Bolt would run the 40 yard dash in under 4 seconds, which is unheard of at the NFL combine. For reference, Darius Heyward- Bey got 38 million dollars from the Raiders and he runs a 4.3 40. Bolt not only has exceptional speed but also size, 6′5” 190 lbs. He is a little skinny but I’m sure he could bulk up 10 lbs and not lose much speed. So the last remaining hurdle in Bolt’s potential is his ability to catch. I remember when i played football, we would always try to recruit a track runner to play for us. He was fast but the ball could not find his hands. The kid got hit in the face every time, so there is a chance of that for Bolt but lets hope not.

We need to start a Draft Bolt movement.