12 Reasons You Were Never Meant to Dunk

1. You can dunk the ball . . . but you’re considered clinically obese:

2. You have absolutely ZERO depth perception:

3. You think the trampoline is a great place to dunk from:

4. You had to enlist in the military instead of the NBA . . . and still can’t dunk:

5. If you think Sir Isaac Newton’s laws do not apply to chairs and dunking off of them:

6. The high school asked you to be the mascot instead of the center:

7. They ask you to put on a Scream mask before attempting a dunk:

8. You’re fat, dunking depends on your life, and there’s only a bucket:

9. See (5) and apply to shopping carts:

10. You’re a nerd and you have a dunk called “the Spidey” involving wall climbing:

11. If your friends convince you to jump off their backs . . . from 10 ft out:

12. You don’t believe in the slippery powers of freaking ICE: