8. Fauxjohnmadden

The best things John Madden has brought to professional football is his football game and the approval of “The Annexation of Puerto Rico” in the movie Little Giants. Other than that this husky, boisterous sports personality is more annoying than insightful. However, his twitter account is absolutely ingenious.

7. Notjakedelhomme

Jake Delhomme has been the poster-boy for the Carolina Panthers organization for nearly a decade now. While he has led the Panthers to several playoff appearances and even a Super Bowl, he is still a f*ck up in every sense. While other QB’s boast large endorsements from national brands and chains, this Rajun’ Cajun’ is the spokesman for Bojangles. Even if we could understand a word he was saying, chances are it wouldn’t be as clever as this Twitter account.

6. Fakebrett

I tell ye what ye dere hushpuppy Brett Furrr likes to wear dem Wrangla’ jeans while playin’ for da Vikins’ yeeeeee. Brett Farve is easily the most hated, attention seeking quarterback in the National Football League. If we could understand half the crap that came out of his mouth, he might make for a more interesting quarterback. However, we’ll just have to settle for the antic of Fakebrett.

5. Fakefatjamarcus

Jamarcus Russell is a fat ass, a terrible quarterback, yet a great personality. Sure he may be riding the bench in Oakland, but that simply gives him more time to tweet on the sidelines. Also note he was caught 2 weeks ago with a bag of Skittles in his game pants.

4. Notkurtwarner

As Kurt Warner gets older, he only becomes closer to God. As he becomes closer to God, he will only become a better father, quarterback, and religious nutcase. Sure, his wife Brenda may be most notoriously known for her mother-like appearance while he was with the Rams, but they’re a good family. This also makes for some GREAT tweeting.

3. FauxTigerWoods

In the past month, Tiger has royally screwed up his personal and professional life in a major way. He might have given up a life with a smoking hot Swedish supermodel and his golden boy image, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of him for doing it. While backing out of the driveway might be the only way I can ever outdrive Tiger, this account give me comfort and solace in the fact that even the best go down.

2. FakeTomBrady

Tom Brady might be one of the NFL’s pretty boys, but he has his faults. From the knocking up a chick prior to putting the ring on Giselle to somehow becoming an injury factory every season, it’s easy to hate on Brady. Other than that, he’s also a great fantasy quarterback.

1. Notjaycutler

Cutlerfucker is a drunk. He’s also a party boy, horrible quarterback, fat ass, cocky, guido-esque and can somehow still pull the ladies. I don’t have to say much for this account, it’s simply the best of the best.

McNair Air Through His Middle

Shiancoe Swing Down To His Knees

Big Ben Draws Out Too Late

Stallworth Speed Right Too Late Juke

Cutler Needle Right, Sugar Slide

Favre Forgets Play…Then Retires

Brady Bouces Back To Left Knee

Stafford Dive Too Late

Tebow Takes Shiancoe In Deep

Perhaps it is a work, dorm, or family league . . . either way the fact is you didn’t pay $100 to enter and the only thing on the line is pride. But if all else fails and you have a terrible draft, at least you can fall back on one thing: a clever name.

Here is a list of the best fantasy football team names for the 2009-2010 season:

Steve McNair Names

Steve McNair’s Speedholes

Affair McNair

McNair is My Sleeper Pick

Aired Out McNair

Steve McNair Shotgun Draw

Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past II – Airholes

Mike Vick Names

Mike Vick’s Pitbull Mittens

Mike Vick and the Parole Violatazzz

Vick’s Wildcat Dogfight

Kibbles ‘n’ Vicks

Vick’s 6-ft Underdogs

Ron Mexico & the Itches

Hide Your Beagle, Vick’s an Eagle

Visanthe Shiancoe Names

1st & Visanthe Shiancoe

Visanthe Shankhoes

Visanthe’s Taint Tears

Chad Ochocinco Names

Chad Lost his Johnson

Chad’s MuchoFuckos

Chad Ochocinco Thinks My Team Name’s More Tragic than 9/11

Ochocinco Said he’d Tweet me a Name

Ben Roethlisberger Names

Big Ben’s Ouchy Penis Spot

Andrea McNulty’s TV Repair

Big Ben’s TV Repairman

Donte Stallworth Names

Donte Stallworth’s High Beams

Stallworth Steamrollers

Donte’s Bloody Bentleys

Donte’s Law: Pedestrians are Easier to Catch than Footballs

Donte’s 30 Days & 30 Nights

Jay Cutler Names

Cutlerfucker’s Insulin Dealer

Blood Sugar Sex Cannon

The Diabetic Shockers

4th & Drunk
Brett Farve Names

Farve Dollar Footlong

Farve, Retiring Since 2006

It’s Farve from Over

Farvefromchoosing

FUCKBRETTFARVE!

The BrittFarr Mississippi Drama Queens

Tom Brady Names

Gisele to Pound Town

Brady Left Knee Bounty

Brady’s Unused Condoms

Tom Brady at the Battle of Wounded Knee

Detroit Lions Name

Swim, Swim, Swim

Buoy Lions

Other Names

Ronnie Brown Noise

Wildcat Malt Offense

Forgetting Brandon Marshall

Erin Andrew’s Peephole

Erin Andrew’s Landing Strip

Shockey was Never Conscious Anyways

First Down Syndrome

99 Problems and A-ddai Ain’t One

New Orly Taints

Romo-Sexual

Kardashian Trimmed Some Bush

Backfield Penetration

Eli – The Other White Manning

Black Horse & the Crab Tree

SUNDAY MORNING WOOD!

There once was a fat ass named Big Ben.

Ben was rich and famous. He was also a quarterback.

There once was a girl named Andrea McNulty. She worked for a hotel.

One day, Big Ben stayed at Andrea’s hotel. His TV broke while he was waxing off to old reruns of Saved by the Bell.

Frustrated, Big Ben called Andrea at the front desk.

“FIX MY TV” he said . . . so Andrea tried calling the electrician, and then her manager. No one answered.

“FIX MY TV” Big Ben once again exclaimed. With no other choice, Andrea went upstairs to fix Big Ben’s TV.

But the TV WORKED!

 But Saved by the Bell had ended. Big Ben wanted sexy time. His 6′5” fat ass blocked the doorway. Andrea said:

But Big Ben’s a NFL quarterback. Everyone wants a piece of his manly-motorcycle-surviving lard-ass. He began the countdown to blastoff. Andrea pleaded:

Since Big Ben doesn’t like being on bottom . . . and women can’t get pregnant on top he begins to calculate a solution to the situation. The game-plan was a 6-in-and-out on three:

Big Ben, a man of his word, continued to have his way with Andrea. Like the true 6′5” version of Ron Jeremy he is:

At that moment, he rolled over and Ben turned on Sports Center. Andrea was crying in the bathroom. The highlights were of Kobe Bryant. In a panic and after realizing what he had done he exclaims:

Andrea, embarrassed, worried, and now depressed fled the room. The next day, she visited the security guard to tell him about the situation. He told her that a lot of girls would love to have been in her situation, even the hotel manager.

Without any hope, Andrea went to the police. She wants Big Ben to pay up:

The end.