She/He is being doubted as a woman for obvious reasons. What do you think? Comment with your thoughts

Live Long and Prosper

Tim Tebow is currently the worlds most popular virgin with legions of girls throwing themselves at him on a daily basis. Tebow preaches no sex before marriage and he seems to follow it to a t, but what if he is lying? We have seen our fair share of hack politicians and entertainers lure supporters in with one message only to be exposed as frauds. Tebow undoubtedly has some girlfriends who are quite hot, lets look at the candidates.

After studying the candidates i had to go with Girl #1. Rumors are that this picture is a case of mistaken identity and this girl is not in the running but i don’t care i had to include it. Those things hit like an LSU defensive end. Comment and tell us your opinion.

You heartless bastard. 

Unlike 99.8% of male bloggers in this country of fast food, questionable morals, and worthless celebrities I’ve actually had the pleasure of meeting Erin Andrews . . . in person. While trying to file 6,000 UNC seniors into the Dean E. Smith center during the 2008 UNC vs. Duke basketball game, several people from the Carolina Athletic Association were questioned about our responsibilities and duties regarding the game. She was nice, sincere, and completely devoted to her job despite the thousands of googley eyes fixated on her  undoubtably perfect ass . . . which she would probably contribute to her dream of becoming the Erin Andrews we know and love anyways. 

Compare this to the attitude of Jenn Sterger (who maybe a handful of men recognized as the Florida State cowgirl) and Dick Vitale (who somehow found a way to ejaculate in the middle of 28 scantily dressed men) and you can understand why we instantly fell in love with America’s sideline princess.  It’s a win for both sides that ESPN gives us such a creation during sporting events. But some fuckhole with a high-tech has ruined that for all of us.

I hope you get crabs and your arms are lopped off in a freak roller coaster accident, you worthless piece of shit. 

The difference between Erin Andrews and the 50,000 Lindsay Lohan crotch-shots that surface on a weekly basis is the integrity and morality in the life they live. Andrews is on the road on a daily basis. Traveling from sporting event to ESPN awards shows, it’s hard to believe that Erin has the time to live the life of a bona-fide celebrity. On top of all this travel, she also has to keep up with the daily sporting news and events that may have the slightest impact on her fantasy football teams. Lohan, however, lives a life of luxury despite her last source of income being a film about a fucking Volkswagon Beetle. 

Your freckles ruined your crotch-shots, Ginger.

If anyone deserves to have their nude photos plastered across the internet in an escalating fashion it’s those celebrities that wear the 3 inch skirt without panties. The Hollywood trash that thrives off daddy’s money and pays MTV to create a reality show to search for their new best friends. The same people that believe a degree is worth shittles as long as they have a pretty smile and men will pay to see their sex video. Erin Andrews, however, has a degree from the University of Florida. The same institution where a quarterback with no medial background can circumcise young boys, and a downs syndrome patient can become an NBA lottery pick.

How the fuck did this anomaly come from Miss Sweden?

The point is that Erin Andrews is educated, appreciated, and before the Bobby Frasor sex scandal, everyone had viewed her crotch as a figment of their imagination. Was it clean? Landing strip? Or something completely new and awesome we had never seen before on her downstairs canvas? While millions of men fantasized about a nude video, we all knew that she was so devoted to her job and reputation in the sports world that that day would never come.

Now her Google reputation is ruined.  

When more people are searching for a video that was illegally taken of you in a hotel room than your work as a sportscaster, it’s going to be a while before your bare ass is out of the limelight. Search results for the “Erin Andrews Peephole Video” and “Erin Andrews Peephole Pictures” have exploded throughout the interwebs. With well over 250,000 results for each term, it’s not very difficult for any devout computer enthusiast to find the illicit video. But unaware to many people, there’s a hidden scam out there that’s protecting the integrity of our beloved Sideline Princess.

There’s no condom for your Google query. 

Searching for the “Erin Andrews Peephole” incident has become as risky as having unprotected, homeless, obese recovering heroin addict in Grand Central. You never know what you might catch, she’ll probably leave you shamed, and there’s always the chance a sex tape might go viral. These Erin Andrews video “STD’s” are the only thing protecting the integrity of Andrews at this moment. ESPN has understandably refused to report on the incident (other than verifying it was Erin) and sites such as TMZ  have taken a neutral stance, but have surprisingly refused to put the video up. While refusing to post the video is a great and noble cause to help prevent the spread of the video, it’s the spammers attaching trojan horses to potential videos that are doing the real job. As soon as Americans realize that nearly all of that downloading these videos is a game of Andrews-Roulette, perhaps the storm will pass for Sideline Princess. For once in the internet’s history, hat’s off to the spammers.

And here’s to every sports fan out there that still fantasized about what Sideline Princess looks like nude.  

Who is the hotter sideline reporter?

After an official examination by a Zimbabwean doctor, it was officially revealed that Sithole was indeed a male. However, he had a completely logical explanation for the growth over this mangina:

Prosecutor Mr Nkonde said the court had found it difficult in deciding whether to remand Sithole in custody in male or female cells as he was adamant that he was a woman yet the doctor’s report had revealed he was a man.

In his defence, Sithole told the court that he was born with both female and male organs. The athlete added that his parents then consulted a Chipinge traditional healer who gave them some herbs following which he assumed female status.

However, Sithole further alleges that they only paid half the money charged for the services rendered by the healer. As a punishment by the traditional healer for them to pay up the outstanding bill, the male organ only developed recently, he said.

He told the court that he was scheduled to settle the bill with the traditional on his trial day and this would have resulted in him reverting to the female gender.

The top Zimbabwean athlete told the court that he had a boyfriend.

Sithole also made history last year by winning five gold medals and a bronzer in shot-put, high jump, 400 hurdles, and in the long jump as a woman. I know there are some feminists out there that will argue against this logic, but competing as a male in the world of track and field is truly an overwhelming advantage on the competitive level. It makes you wonder what penises lay hidden in the United States running circuit. 

Source: Zimbabwe News

With the banking taking a sour turn in Charlotte and the economy continuing to plummet, this lingerie football team is just what North Carolina needs to see the light on the other side. 

In other, slightly more important news . . . the Carolina Hurricanes won 4-3 last night over New Jersey with just 0.2 seconds remaining. Dislocated northerners and NC Staters remain the only North Carolinians to care until the finals. 

Source: Monkeys Throwing Darts

Kristen Dalton: North Carolina’s second national champion in the month of April. So what if she could be a Wake, NC State, Duke, Davidson, or UNC (enter your city) fan . . . we’re still proud of her.