1.Nomar Garciaparra
2.Manny Ramirez
3.Johnny Damon
4.Trot Nixon
5.David Ortiz
6.Shea Hillenbrand
7.Derek Lowe
8.Pedro Martinez
9.Brian Roberts
10.Jay Gibbons
11.Melvin Mora
12.Jerry Hairston
13.Jason Giambi
14.Alfonso Soriano
15.Raul Mondesi
16. Aaron Boone
17.Andy Pettitte
18.Jose Contreras
19.Roger Clemens
20.Carlos Delgado
21.Vernon Wells
22.Frank Catalanotto
23.Kenny Rogers
24.Magglio Ordonez
25.Sandy Alomar
26.Bartolo Colon
27.Brent Abernathy
28.Jose Lima
29.Milton Bradley
30.Casey Blake
31.Danys Baez
32.Craig Monroe
33.Dmitri Young
34.Alex Sanchez
35.Eric Chavez
36.Miguel Tejada
37.Eric Byrnes
38.Jose Guillen
39.Keith Foulke
40.Ricardo Rincon
41.Bret Boone
42.Mike Cameron
43.Randy Winn
44.Ryan Franklin
45.Freddy Garcia
46.Rafael Soriano
47.Scott Spiezio
48.Troy Glaus
49.Francisco Rodriguez
50.Ben Weber
51.Alex Rodriguez
52.Juan Gonzalez
53.Rafael Palmeiro
54.Carl Everett
55.Javy Lopez
56.Gary Sheffield
57.Mike Hampton
58.Ivan Rodriguez
59.Derrek Lee
60.Bobby Abreu
61.Terry Adams
62.Fernando Tatis
63.Livan Hernandez
64.Hector Almonte
65.Tony Armas
66.Dan Smith
67.Roberto Alomar
68.Cliff Floyd
69.Roger Cedeno
70.Jeromy Burnitz
71.Moises Alou
72.Sammy Sosa
73.Corey Patterson
74.Carlos Zambrano
75.Mark Prior
76.Kerry Wood
77.Matt Clement
78.Antonio Alfonseca
79.Juan Cruz
80.Aramis Ramirez
81.Craig Wilson
82.Kris Benson
83.Richie Sexson
84.Geoff Jenkins
85.Valerio de los Santos
86.Benito Santiago
87.Rich Aurilia
88.Barry Bonds
89.Andres Galarraga
90.Jason Schmidt
91.Felix Rodriguez
92.Jason Christiansen
93.Matt Herges
94.Paul Lo Duca
95.Shawn Green
96.Oliver Perez
97.Adrian Beltre
98.Eric Gagne
99.Guillermo Mota
100.Luis Gonzalez
101.Todd Helton
102.Ryan Klesko
103.Gary Matthews
Archive for the ‘MLB’ Category
List of Players Who Tested Positive in 2003, Maybe
Thursday, August 6th, 2009You did WHAT playing softball?
Thursday, July 16th, 2009Slow pitched men’s softball. America’s sport. God’s sport. My dad used to say there is nothing in this world like Sunday tournaments. My family went Methodist to Baptist for this mere reason. Blasphemous? You bed your ass it was. But it also resulted in my father’s notorious 8 time church league championship run. Goddamned brilliant. My dad had the arm of a rocket and the mind of a scientist. He threw the ball faster than fuck . . . underhanded. What are the dangers in playing against overly aggressive men with 3 children, a wifely forced vasectomy, and a 40 hour work week? Deadspin pointed it out all too well.
A Botched Slide:
A Pulled Hammy:
A Slip at First Base:
And a Broken Ankle:
The Manny-Less Dodgers
Friday, May 8th, 2009Last night marked the first night that the Dodgers played without their star outfielder, Manny Ramirez. The Dodger outfielder was suspended by MLB officials for 50 games for failing a required drug test. This unpaid “vacation” for Manny will cost him nearly $7.7 million of his $25 million dollar contract, as well as bring him a barrage of unwanted negative media attention. Los Angeles and Boston have come to Manny’s defense claiming he is “not the drug using type“, while Yankee message boards have already started pegging the incident as “Manny being Tranny” (a reference to the guilty drug HCG which is prescribed to stimulate female fertility and testosterone production in men).
Throughout last season, all the west coast media blabbed about was how Manny became a positive influence to the Dodger’s lineup by “calming” the nerves of young bench players as well as giving them a much needed confidence boost. However, if you look at the stats, the media was clearly blubbering as Manny did nothing for their overall stats. RBIs and HRs dropped significantly, while the only their on base and batting average made a noticeable increase (only in some).
Player…..Pre Manny/Post..AVE…OBP…..SLG…..OPS…AB…R..HR..RBI..SB
Andre Ethier………..Pre..0.274…0.338…0.442…0.779..351..53..11…46…3
Andre Ethier……….Post..0.368…0.448…0.649…1.097..174..37…9…31…3
Matt Kemp…………..Pre..0.295…0.351…0.464…0.815..390..57..12…57..26
Matt Kemp………….Post..0.282…0.319…0.449…0.768..216..36…6…19…9
James Loney…………Pre..0.296…0.354…0.456…0.810..395..53…9…60…4
James Loney………..Post..0.275…0.307…0.390…0.697..200..13…4…30…3
Russell Martin………Pre..0.297…0.393…0.428…0.821..374..56..10…52..10
Russell Martin……..Post..0.246…0.367…0.330…0.697..179..31…3…17…8
Although the Dodgers are indeed missing an integral part of their lineup, it will be interesting to see what kind of impact the absence of Manny will play through mid-June. A Deadspin reader pointed out that:
What was the first night of post-Mannywood like? Totally strange. It’s like someone took a scrub brush and wiped every trace of Manny from the stadium-including the fans. I figured there probably wouldn’t be Manny videos and I thought they might even pull the Manny merch from the stands and vendors (I didn’t see any for sale) but I looked all night and couldn’t even find a fan with a Manny shirt on. (And these guys are usually everywhere….often with the fake dreds). Seems LA has turned on the guy, at least judging from how quickly he’s been forgotten. Oh, except we lost in spectacular fashion. That hadn’t seemed to happen much (or at all) this season.
On the other hand, it seems the only person celebrating the Manny steroid allegations is our good friend Jose Canseco. Jose decided to hold a special press conference in a LA hotel earlier today to say “I told you so” and accept any questions. The results are as follows:
That’s right, only 1 AP reporter made the trip to hear Jose’s ego feeding and “I told you so’s”. The only question reportedly asked was by a hotel busboy regarding the “freeness” of the ham sandwiches.
Manny being Manny
Thursday, May 7th, 2009
Manny Ramirez of the LA Dodgers has been suspended for 50 games by MLB officials for failing a performance enhancing drug test. According to Manny:
“Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was okay to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.
“I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I’m sorry about this whole situation.”
Also according to the LA Times:
The loss of Ramirez would leave a gaping hole in the Dodgers’ lineup. Juan Pierre, the likely replacement for Ramirez in left field, has batted ninth in two of his five starts this season.
Ramirez doubled and drove in two runs on Wednesday, as the Dodgers set a major league record with their 13th consecutive home victory at the start of the season. The Dodgers have the best record in the major leagues, at 21-8, and the biggest division lead in the majors, at 6 1/2 games in the National League West.
Ramirez leads the Dodgers in batting average (.348), on-base percentage (.492) and slugging percentage (.641), and he is tied for the team lead in home runs with six.
He signed a two-year, $45-million contract with the Dodgers in March, with the first year guaranteed at $25 million and the second year at his option at $20 million.
In an appearance at USC last month, Jose Canseco said Ramirez’s name “is most
Rick Ankiel Slams into the Wall Head First and Lays Motionless on the Ground
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
Two weeks following the removal of his mustache, Rick Ankiel now finds his face injured in a head on collision with the centerfield wall after a line drive by Phillies third baseman Pedro Feliz. According to the Cardinals, Ankiel underwent X-rays and CT scans of his head, neck, and back late last night. All tests came back negative for fractures. The Cardinal’s GM John Mozeliak said that Ankiel had movement and feeling in both his arms and his legs, and the team doctor expects him to make a full recovery. According to the Cardinal’s team site, outfielder Chris Duncan was closest to Ankiel when the collision with the wall occured.
“He went down and I thought maybe he might be unconscious,” Duncan said. “So I tried to talk to him. I said, ‘Are you all right?’ and he said, ‘I think so. I’m just going to lay here.’ He said he had hit the wall hard and he [thought] he was all right, but he [was] not going to move. He said his back hurt a little bit, but he could feel everything and he didn’t want to move. I told him to hold on and that they were coming out.”
One might ask themselves if Ankiel had kept the mustache, could the injury have been prevented? My response is absolutely. The presence of an upper lip man-garden establishes itself not only in breathtaking looks, but in mass as well. The mass of the lip fur establishes itself within the equilibrium of the beholder within a week of its birth. Once Ankiel had rid himself of the follicle lip drapes, he had thrown off his equilibrium and essentially the cat-like balance needed to complete agile plays in centerfield.
While we are absolutely glad that Ankiel is uninjured and he will return to the diamond in the coming weeks, we hope this is a lesson to all who grow a mustache for fun and games. Suddenly growing and ridding yourself of a mustache will cause severe short term health effects, most notably in your bodily equilibrium. Don’t do it unless you are committed to refraining from athletic competition for at least 6 months.
*Note: A follow up on this can be found at the American Mustache Institute’s site. Perlut and the guys are currently experiencing a nationwide debate over a Utah mayor’s mustache and its questionable fate.