Augusta’s First Loser

09 Apr 2009


As it stands right now, the leading score is -8, with Padraig Harrington at -3, Greg Norman at -2, Phil Mickelson at +1 and Tiger at even par.  We all know as long as Tiger makes the cut he is going to win.  So with that foregone conclusion we now begin the even more exciting race to see who is going to be the closest loser behind Tiger.

We’ll start with Paddi Harrington: this guy has been the picture of humble, winning the last two majors, although Tiger was not there.  All he has heard since is, “Are you going to be able to win when Tiger gets back?”  He, of course, has given the PC answer which consists of something along the lines of how Tiger is really good, it will be good competition, yada yada yada.  This guy can’t wait to shut everyone up with a win because he’s not going to break character and tell everyone what he’s really thinking, “Everyone shut up about Tiger, I know he’s good and all, but I won the last two majors and I’m looking goooooood right now!”  Alas, it is not to be, he finishes 2 shots back.

Next we have Greg Norman, you old shark you.  This guy is just happy to be relevant again.  He has had his fair share of heartache at Augusta.  86′, 87′, and 96′ were just not his years (well, neither were any other years at Augusta).  After marrying Chris Evert, a pretty damn good tennis player, Norman is hoping that some of his wife’s championship talent will rub off on him this weekend.  On second thought maybe he should just carry the bag for her this weekend, hmmmmm.  The Shark finishes solid, only 5 strokes back.

Finally we come to good ole Phil.  Lefty finally got that monkey off his back a few years ago, winning his first major in 2004 and winning two more since.  But let us not forget the last time Phil stared down Tiger in a face-to-face matchup, a crushing meltdown at Torrey Pines and a quadruple bogey…. a quadruple bogey.  PGA pros don’t do that, twelve-year-olds with their dad’s hand-me-down clubs do that…. in the rain.  So let’s not sell Phil short this year, I think it would be appropriate and even entertaining to see a Jean Van de Velde like collapse from Mickelson this year.  Lefty sinks to the bottom of the leaderboard, finishes 15 strokes back.