Florida International University Loses Its Mind, Hires Basketball’s Antichrist

14 Apr 2009

Isiah Thomas is the new coach of the FIU Golden Panthers. Let that sink in for a second. The $11.5 million sexual harassment settlement man himself. Following a long, rich history of failed NBA coaches before him, Zeke is going to be a college coach. Things have worked out gloriously for some like former disgraced NBA coaches Rick Pitino and John Calipari, but does Thomas have the patience to  put up with the constant immaturity of 18-22 year old student athletes? Can he even recruit? Will he be able to convince top basketball talent to go to a school that is known more for its fighting than it’s playing? Raise your hand if you can even name anyone who went to FIU.

I’ll give you a second…

Those that answered Raja Bell, you play way too much Fantasy Basketball.

Character is obviously not a precondition for getting a coaching job at FIU. The Golden Panthers also courted former Miami Heat and Golden State guard Tim Hardaway. Hardaway, of course, is remembered more for hating gay people than hitting a jump shot.

While this may be a great PR move and will get people talking about their program, can this stunt really last? Does anyone else think Isiah Thomas living in Miami is a bad idea? He couldn’t keep it in his pants in New York City. How in the world is he going to behave himself on South Beach?

I give it a year, two at most. For the fans and students at FIU, God Speed. Hopefully it doesn’t cost you as much to get out of this as it cost James Dolan and Madison Square Garden.