Duke Quarterback Lewis Ready for S.O.S

16 Jul 2009

On Wednesday, the Raleigh NewsandObserver had a chance to sit down with North Carolina’s least successful quarterback to talk a little futboooool. While I give him props for being a Duke football player whose name I actually remember (and therefore give-a-shit about), it still seams this question/answer shitfest was as premeditated as a Coach K press conference after a UNC loss. “They shot well. They ran the court. They are bigger than us. Tyler Hansbrough. The shots didn’t fall. Remember when I coached Kobe Bryant?” 

I have taken the time to edit the real conversation for those of us that didn’t have a chance to read it.

Q: What is your favorite passing route?

A: I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite pass route, but you know what’s nice? When you can hit a guy in stride on a bomb, 50 yards, he doesn’t stop, and he scores with it. That’s nice. … The best is when you see a guy beat a guy, and the guy is trying to catch up, and you hit him in stride. There’s nothing prettier than that. You know what else is pretty? Greg Paulus. That mother fucker came in here trying to take my job after never touching the field for FOUR, count them . . . FOUR fucking years. He even had K lobbying for his sorry ass. If I spent as much time on the floor as Greg Paulus . . . you’d have to wipe me up with a shamwow. Bad analogy. That shamwow guy beat a stripper right? Shit. That doesn’t go over well in Durham. 

Q: What would it mean to you to help lead this team to a bowl game?

A: It would mean everything. But it just wouldn’t be enough to just get there. If I get there, I want to win it. It would mean so much because when I was recruited I was told we weren’t very good and I was told I was part of a change. … It’s only eight seniors that will be able to play this season. For us eight to be remembered as the eight that led this football team to a bowl game … would be tremendous. It’s not how you came in, but how you leave a place. … It would be big. But shit, half the bowl’s that we would be invited to would leave us in debt anyways. Know how much the Papajohn.com bowl payed out? Yeah, $350 K. The Wolfpack weren’t the only team leaving in the red by just GOING to that bowl. Their asses were red too. Because they got spanked. So was their bank account, which is what I was alluding to anyways. 

Q: What would you say you learned about yourself since your enrollment at Duke?

A: I can do anything. I can do anything I put my mind to. … A lot of people don’t know that my freshman year, halfway through the semester, I was failing. Thought I was going to fail out of Duke. Picked it up, and I finished with a 2.5 [G.P.A] that semester. The next three semesters I went 3.4. … I look at it now that I’m about to get a degree in December from Duke University. That’s big.

Coming out of Opa-Locka I didn’t think about getting in Duke, didn’t really know much about the academic standards, what the degree is worth. Now I’m in that elite company with a [degree]. … I didn’t just come to college to play football. I was able to manage both. If I can do it, anybody could do it. Sheldon Williams did it, and look where he’s at in life. He married a hot-ass giant WNBA all-sat . . . has a kid . . . ALL while everyone thought he was retarded. We both majored in sociology. It’s the geography of Duke University. Michael Jordan was a geography major . . . and look how rich he became! To us athletes, our degrees mean all the shit in the world. You’re my sociological hero, Sheldon Williams. Shit yeah.