Gilbert Arenas Self-Help Book…Come On

Just when all of the Gilbert Arenas gun jokes were about to die out, he goes out and shoots himself in the foot (/takes a bow). Apparently, Arenas has a forthcoming self-help book, entitled “Score Like Agent Zero” (There’s no truth to the rumors that Arenas wrote four titles down on a piece of paper and told the publishers to pick one. See — aren’t Gilbert gun jokes fun?).

According to the blurb, this will be the single greatest book in the history of books (and papyrus too!):

You have just taken a major step toward improving your life. What you hold in your hands is the self-help book to end all self-help books. […] Want to learn the best way to shoot a free throw? Want to learn how to speak to a woman like Agent Zero?

Please! Enlighten us! While Wizards fans might dispute the idea that Arenas is the best free throw teacher, I’m sure the rest of the book is chock full of useful nuggets on how to lose friends, alienate people and torpedo your career.

But don’t worry — there’s still plenty of time to get your own copy. The book’s release date has reportedly been pushed back from February to May. Pre-order now, while you still can.