Archive for January, 2010

The 8 Most Intense Sports Intros of All Time

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Professional and collegiate athletics have become less about the performace and more about the show. And for the most part, many people that attend these sporting events are expecting just that, a show. Since the Cowboys have installed their 70 yard HD television, pregrame rituals have been taken to a new level. Here are the nation’s best sports intro videos.

8. 2001 South Carolina Gamecocks

When it comes to college football there are very few teams that have an intro as intense as the fighting Gamecocks. Clemson, eat your heart out. While running down a hill is cool and all, it just isn’t on the same caliber as your instate rivals.

7. The 1996 Chicago Bulls

This team was a dynasty during the game as well as before. The intro for the 1996 Chicago Bulls (or any of their 90s team for that matter) is something that will never be forgotten.

6. Let’s Get Ready to Ruuuumbleeeeeeeeee

Probably the most iconic phrase in all of boxing . . . it even has its own video game on the Dreamcast.

5. Alaska Nanook’s 2010 Intro

Alaska is a weird place in itself. With the wilderness, darkness, and disconnection from the lower 48 states, there’s not a lot to get excited about in Alaska. However, the Nanook’s 2010 intro has taken hockey to a whole new level.

4. Boston Celtic’s Intro

The Boston Celtic’s intro is to the 2000’s as the Bulls was to the 90’s. Classy, ahead of its time, as well as memorable, it’s something that we will be talking about into the next decade.

3. The 2008 Bejing Opening Ceremonies

Since this is technically a sports intro, it had to be included. Some of the shit the Chinese pulled off in the 2008 Bejing opening ceremonies was absolutely, utterly, and insanely ridiculous.

2. Stone Cold Steve Austin Intro

If there were ever a master to any intro, it would be Stone Cold Steve Austin. If you’re a man and have never wanted to enter a room like a WWE professional wrestler, then you’re lying to yourself.

1. 2009 Alaska Nanooks Intro

No comment needed. The 2010 video couldn’t even compare to this one.

4 Month Boycott of Sportcenter begins!

Monday, January 25th, 2010

With the pathetic Favre pass across the middle to blow the championship game, Brett Favre now takes center stage on every ESPN telecast for the next four months.

Thus in protest of the pathetic NFL coverage provided by Sportscenter, I will boycott Sportscenter until the Brett Favre retirement is ultimately decided.

Everyone join me and send ESPN a message.

He’s Back!

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Brock Lesnar, the University of Minnesota wrestling legend who rose to the top of the mixed martial arts world, said Wednesday that he has licked his life-threatening ailment and will return to action this summer.

Lesnar, 32, said in an interview on ESPN that he was mysteriously stricken during his training for what was to be an Ultimate Fighting Championship title defense in November vs. Shane Carwin.

However, the match was called off, when Lesnar fell ill and the heavyweight’s future in fighting and overall well-being were in doubt.

Lesnar said he was suffering from diverticulosis, causing him severe abdominal pain.

“I was just feeling sick for the longest time through my training,” Lesnar said on the sports cable network. The doctors “were dumbfounded,” he added.

“One night, I woke up in severe shock with a 104 temperature,” Lesnar said. “I took antibiotics and pain medication to heal myself or I would have had to remove part of my colon and wear a colonoscopy bag and end my career.”

Lesnar said he dropped about 40 pounds from his hulking frame while in the hospital for 11 days.

After what he called outstanding medical care in Bismarck, N.D., and at the Mayo Clinic that “sav[ed] my life and my career,” the former NCAA wrestling champion and WWE professional wrestler said he took a holistic approach to his healing and avoided surgery.

At a checkup just after the first of the year, Lesnar said, he was the recipient of “a miracle. [The doctors] were dumbfounded. They couldn’t find any signs of any trouble.”

Having put back on 30 pounds, Lesnar said he’s looking forward to a title match this summer, most likely against the winner of the Frank Mir-Carwin interim championship match on March 27 in Newark, N.J.

Lesnar hasn’t been in the octagon since UFC 100 last July, when he beat Mir in the biggest event ever in mixed martial arts.

Conan O’Brien To ESPN…?

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

A undiscussed career path could put Conan back in front of the camera next to Scott Van Pelt as a comedian doing sporting events. ESPN has dropped all the funny people, besides Van Pelt, and now is just a semblance of hack job reporters and women with porn star names. O’Brien would bring a new character to ESPN that they have sorely lacked since Kenny Mayne took time off.

Think about it Conan

Tiger In Sex Rehab… It’s Called Being Cool Where I Come From

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Friday it was reported that Tiger Woods had entered a sex rehab clinic in Mississippi, the birthplace of weird sexual behavior. Today the National Enquirer, who initially broke the Tiger Woods cheating scandal, confirms that report, and adds that hopefully he’s making lots of new friends because his wife has yet to visit him.

Tiger is undergoing a six-week intensive treatment directed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who pioneered treatment for sexually compulsive behavior.
Yet, he’s already planning his comeback and aiming to be back on the PGA tour by Spring possibly for the Masters Tournament April 5.
Meanwhile his wife Elin who has been consulting with a top celeb divorce lawyer is still not wearing her wedding ring in public and has yet to visit her promiscuous hubby in the cloistered rehab facility.

Good. Awesome. Forget about that dork. This chick is an easily tricked hot Swedish model just a few months away from cashing a check worth several hundred million dollars. The only way she could be any more of a perfect potential girlfriend is if she naturally produced kool-aid and tasted like grape when you went down on her.