Archive for the ‘Rumors and Rants’ Category

This Makes Me Want to Slap a Floor

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Would you expect anything less from a Duke basketball infomercial? While the Dukies are staining their pants over this video, it’s obvious that its only intention is to legitimate Duke as a “NBA” factory for higher talent. “Players out of a man to man transition better into the NBA”. . . dropping the names Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade . . . it’s completely and utterly obvious. We’re talking about Christian Laettner, Bobby Hurley, Cherokee Parks, Trajan Langdon, Mike Dunleavy, Jay Williams, JJ Reddick, Sheldon Williams.

Are you a white guy tired of being held back from coaches that tell you you can’t jump or shoot? HI, I’m Billy Mays here . . . yeah, you get the point.

Konami Code on the ESPN Website Makes for a Magical Experience

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Yesterday several sites revealed that ESPN had fallen victim to the Konami code (press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, enter) and the result was something magical. On the home page after pressing the code, unicorns would start to fly across the screen in something fruity, yet beautiful. The font also all changed to comic sans to complete the experience. The more you tried to click out, the more unicorns appeared. 

 

 

Update: The code has now been removed from most pages.

NC State Sports Editor Rips Athletic Department New Asshole

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Taylor Auten will likely never be allowed back on campus at North Carolina State University . . . but at least he’ll be opened with open arms at Duke. The Technician’s senior sports editor absolutely ripped the NCSU athletics department apart, but was justified in every word. As a graduate of UNC, I will never understand what it is like to have 3 out of 4 losing football seasons . . . going to the NCAA tourney once . . . or having a program out to extinguish all student traditions, but I feel for this guy. Good luck at Duke law and don’t fall into the traps of Coach K.

Here’s a little excerpt from his article:

Lee Fowler: you should almost consider extending free student tickets to everyone who is graduating in 2009 for at least another year or two. We have simply not gotten our money’s worth in the past four years, having suffered through one of the worst eras of N.C. State Athletics in memory. One winning football season, one trip the men’s basketball NCAA tournament and widespread mediocrity in most of the non-revenue sports has left me feeling cheated of some element of my college experience.

Coaches: if you are looking for success, please follow volleyball coach Charita Stubbs’ three step plan for establishing a winning program and building fan support.

1. Demonstrate unflinching excellence on the court. In three years with the Wolfpack, Stubbs has accumulated a 3-61 record in the ACC and a 14-84 record overall.

2. Respond to criticism in a professional, mature manner. On Oct. 14, Technician ran an editorial cartoon complimenting Stubbs’ first ACC wins in a backhanded manner. Stubbs, a black woman, felt the cartoon was directed at her race rather than her performance as a coach.

Stubbs responded to the Oct. 14 piece by refusing to comment to Technician reporters, demanding a front page apology and talking to seemingly everyone about the cartoon except the Technician staff. Repeated invitations to Stubbs to come to our office and discuss the issue in an open forum were left unanswered, and what could have been a learning experience for everyone involved developed into a bitter standoff.

Personally, I don’t think there was anything racist about the cartoon, but I will invite anyone interested to make up their own mind. Search “stubbs cartoon” on Technician’s Web site and see for yourself.

3. Create strong student and fan support by alienating the student newspaper. Stubbs understands that the best way to put out the word about her blossoming volleyball program is to refuse to talk to the only media outlet that will ever regularly cover N.C. State volleyball. She has not allowed any interviews with Technician reporters since the cartoon ran Oct. 14 (She has also not won any matches since that date.) 

Source : The Technician - I’m outie five, keep it sleazy

10 Annoying-Ass People at the Gym

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

 

I’ve been working out at the local YMCA for several months now and to be honest, I haven’t really enjoyed the people there. Most of them are pretty chill, but several of the older guys tend to give me the eye whenever I strive to do anything remotely athletic. I honestly can’t help that I am a bigger than the average guy, I certainly don’t want to show off, but I have to get a workout someway or another.

This morning I put together this list of people that annoy the Hell out of me when I’m in the gym . . . I think it pretty well sums it up:

10. The people outside the giant window watching us run - You are either running like a giant bird, off balanced, or perhaps overweight. The glass between me and you is not the iron curtain, I’m going to stare.

9. The locker room mirror hog - Dude’s gotta look good.

8. The raquetball super-enthusiasts - Whether it be racquetball or Left4Dead, I take competition serious on any level. By the way, there’s a C in raCquetball.
7. Wearers of ill-fitting gym clothing of the small persuasion - If girls didn’t wear these, I honestly wouldn’t be at the gym. They wear them because they know guys look at them.

6. The locker room phone-talker - Business is business.

5. The person setting a world record for speed on the elliptical machine -What’s the point in using a gym machine if your purpose isn’t to break it?

4. The over-motivated personal trainer - He takes his job seriously and you are giving him shit for it? Come on!

3. The dude sitting too close on the stretching mat - He just wants to bask in your musk. Give the man a break because you want to do your yoga in peace.

2. The Goddess - She’s hott, entertaining, and encouraging. I promise I will get her number within week . . . or at least I make that promise to myself.

1. The couple - Yeah, they’re annoying as shit. Right on.

The Luxurious Life of World Wide Wes and Calipari

Friday, April 17th, 2009

For years now, everyone that knows me personally absolutely understands the one thing that I believe is ruining college basketball : John Vincent Calipari. Why you might ask? One man: World Wide Wes. The man is a marketing powerhouse and an “agent” for high school athletes that are the sure one and dones. He also happens to be a very close friend and recruiter for Coach Calipari. In this article they outline the mystery, sketchiness, and life of World Wide Wes. 

Here’s a little excerpt:

In 2001, Wes’s godson and Milt’s son, Dajuan Wagner, was the consensus best high school basketball player in the world. If Dajuan had entered the NBA draft after his junioryear at Camden High, he might have been the number one pick. But Wes persuaded him to let the NBA wait and spend a year or two playing for John Calipari at the University of Memphis. The deal came with plenty of strings attached: Wes made it clear to Calipari that Dajuan was more inclined to sign with a school that also gave a free ride to his best friend, Arthur Barclay, an all-state player who’d been passed over because of poor test scores. (Done.) Then Milt, despite lacking a college degree, was hired to be Memphis’s head of basketball operations. When news of the deal leaked out, the media crucified Calipari, painting it as nothing more than legalized graft. Wes answered accusations that something shady had gone down, saying, “Man, I’ve heard the second-guessing. It’s simple: Juanny needed to improve his defense and prove that he can play on the next level. Coach Cal can help him do that. What do I have to gain by him going to Memphis?”

Wes had been managing Dajuan’s career since the boy was 11, and so when it came time for Dajuan to head to Memphis, Wes went along. After only one season—in which Dajuan averaged twenty-one points a game—Calipari called Milt and Dajuan into his office. “I tore up Dajuan’s scholarship in front of him to make sure he understood he wasn’t coming back,” Calipari says. Dajuan was ready for the NBA. The Cavaliers selected him in the first round of the 2002 draft, and as Dajuan made his move from college to the pros, Wes was there to ease the transition. In his first year, Dajuan was among NBA rookie leaders in scoring, assists, and minutes played.